364 days til I turn 40, let the ride begin!

Someone told me the other day that I had better enjoy my thirties while I can. That got me to thinking! There are things that I haven't accomplished and most of them are things that I continue to put off until a better time. Does a "better time" ever come? Probably not. So, with a little more determination and a lot less procrastinating, I am going to make the the last year of my thirties count for something! I've spent the last couple of days thinking about how to do that and I compiled a list of 40 things that I want to accomplish before I turn 40. Here is that list, in no specific order of importance ...

1. Lose 40 pounds (at least)

2. Take a photography class

3. Pay off at least one debt

4. Spend more one on one time with Shannon

5. Spend more one on one time with Ashley

6. More private time with Steve

7. Start having family night with Steve and the girls

8. See a Broadway production

9. Catch up reading The Dark Tower series

10. Catch up on Shannon's scrapbook

11. Start Ashley's scrapbook

12. Learn to make homemade gravy

13. Learn to say "forty" without cringing1

14. Volunteer

15. Read the Bible everyday

16. Take a picture everyday

17. Keep in touch with family from out of state

18. Keep in touch with family that live near by

19. Buy an expensive bra

20. Hug Shannon everyday and tell her that I love her

21. Hug Ashley everyday and tell her that I love her

22. Hug Steve everyday and tell him that I love him

23. Organize the girls' bedroom

24. Get the girls' sleeping in their bedroom

25. Visit the Grove Park Inn during the National Gingerbread House competition

26. Rebuild our savings account

27. Smile at a stranger everyday

28. Speak to a stranger everyday

29. Get a complete physical

30. Move more, sit in the recliner less

31. Revamp and refresh my wardrobe

32. Redecorate my house

33. Have my car professionally cleaned once a month

34. Enter a contest

35. Laugh everyday

36. Buy expensive makeup

37. Girls weekend!

38. Have a spa day

39. Pray with Shannon everyday

40. Try a new recipe every week

Weekly weigh-in

I still haven't decided what is the best way to post updates on my weekly weigh-ins. But after yesterday's post, I thought it only fair to post an update on how my week was. I worried all weekend and all day Monday only to be pleasantly suprised. I lost 1.8 pounds this week! That has given me a boost in my motivation and my plan for this week is to continue with what I have been doing, minus the funnel cakes this time!

Birthday thoughts...

Today is my birthday, well, it's past midnight now so it's officially over now - Yesterday was my birthday. Boy how time flies, I can remember being young and thinking that it seemed like forever before I'd be where I am today - 39! Have I accomplished the things that I hoped to? Have I become what I wanted to be? I'm not so sure that I have. Am I getting old? Somedays I feel like I am, other days I feel like my life is still ahead of me.

One thing I know that I have not accomplished is loosing weight and getting control of my health. I gave up on being "skinny" a long time ago and have come to understand that what it's really about is being healthy and extending my time here on earth for as long as I can. I have 2 beautiful girls that need me, and I need to be here for them. I have high blood pressure and I am at risk for developing diabetes, I refuse to give in to either. As I mentioned in an earlier post I have joined Weight Watchers, so I think that I am headed in the right direction. Tomorrow is weigh-in day and quite frankly, I'm a little worried about getting on the scale. Mostly because I have been cooped up in the house all weekend with the refridgerator calling my name. It snowed on Friday afternoon, it snowed about 6 inches and in NC that's enough to keep folks home. It quit snowing early Saturday afternoon but the temperatures stayed in the 20's all day. Then church was cancelled this morning so we decided not to venture out at all again today. Anyway, being in the house all weekend has made it VERY hard for me not to eat everything in the kitchen! I've done pretty good for the most part - better today than yesterday, thanks to the funnel cakes that Steve made yesterday. One day can't ruin it for the whole week, but did I do good enough all week? Only time will tell, and that time is 6:00 tomorrow evening...I guess we'll see!

UUGGGHHH! What else can go wrong!?!

Maybe someday I will learn to say no, but today wasn't that day!

Let's see if I can make a long story short ... My sister is the Women's Missions Director at her church and their monthly meeting is coming up in a couple of days. She designed a missionary prayer calendar and wanted to print one for each of the ladies. I have a laser printer which prints much faster than her ink jet, and uses a lot less ink. I volunteered to print the calendars for her so all she'd have to do is bind them. I printed maybe two thirds of them when my pink toner went empty - no warning what so ever from the printer! I took it out and tried shaking it "old school" style to see if it would work. Nope, when I put it back in, the printer then said the black and the pink were empty. She went to the office store and bought both cartridges - which cost almost as much as I paid for the printer! I get them installed and print about 30 or 40 more pages - and the blue toner runs empty! I tried shaking it too, but of course it didn't work. I put it back in only to find that now it says the blue and yellow are empty. That was at 8:15 pm and I need to have these finished before noon tomorrow. By the grace of God, I have found a blue and a yellow cartridge, both used - but free, that will be delivered tomorrow morning. At this point I'm feeling much better, they print pretty fast so I should have plenty of time tomorrow morning to finish them. But ... I guess I should have set that Coke bottle somewhere else! Yep, you guessed it! I spilled it! After almost screaming (and pert near crying) I have checked them and most of them are alrigtht, I will only have to reprint a few of the pages. Some of the others have wrinkled edges but don't look stained so I'm gonna try to let them go. One obstacle after another and a quickly approaching deadline - somebody or something is trying to prevent me from getting these calenders done! But despite all that, I will overcome and the deadline will be met! I just hope at this point that the calendars will get used and every one of the missionaries listed inside will be blessed.


"Press on. Obstacles are seldom the same size tomorrow as they are today." ~ Robert H. Schuller

An old man's voice

God spoke to me today, his voice was crystal clear, it came through the voice of an old man. As a hospital customer service rep, I have learned that most of the people I come in to contact with would much rather be doing something besides dealing with a hospital bill. I waited on one gentleman today that seemed to be different than most. When he first came to the desk, I noticed right away that he wasn't very clean. As he told me about the illnesses that he and his wife had endured during the last few months, all I could think was - how in the world can he see through those cloudy, dirty glasses! As I listened to him talk, I took his payment, never taking a moment to notice that today was his birthday. Despite all that he had been through, he seemed to be genuinely happy to be alive to pay that bill. Before he left he told me that today was his birthday, 83 years old. I wished him a Happy Birthday and told him that I thought is was awesome that he's 83. He turned to leave and after two or three steps, he turned back to me and said "I wish I was 38." That last statement ran through me in a way that I can not explain.

I am 38, I have recently found myself wishing that I could get the last 10 years back. Today God used that man to show me to not dwell on time that I can't get back but to be excited about time that is yet to come. That old man's voice has echoed through me all day, and I'm sure it will still be echoing the next time I start wishing for time passed.


"And in the end, it's not the years in your life that count, it's the life in your years." Abraham Lincoln

Where to start?

Most of those that know me, know that I am just about the biggest procrastinator on earth. And, as you guessed it, nothing is different here. I have put off starting this blog for months and months. I think that maybe I put way to much thought into things - like what to name it, what to write about, will anybody be interested. Before you know it, time has flown by. Anyway, I have finally committed to try this for a while. So here we go ...



I'm really more of a private person and not real sure about posting my life on the Internet for the world to see. I've never been one to keep a diary or journal, so needless to say, this is a little bit out of my comfort zone. But, I'm gonna try! As everybody knows, I have always struggled with my weight. Well, maybe not always, but at least since I was a teenager. My original intentions on this blog were to update and track my weight loss but the more I thought about it, I began to realize that there is more to it than that. It's more about finding myself. There are other things that I like to see change or happen, other avenues that I'd like to explore. After all, I am 38 years old, I have been married for almost 18 years and I have 2 small daughters - a 4 year old and a 8 month old, and I still don't know what I want to be when I grow up. But, what I do know is that I want to become the wife and mother that they deserve; the woman that they think I am. Photography is one of my biggest hobbies so I promise to include some of my journey and life in photos. Hopefully along the way I can be an inspiration to sombody somewhere, or at least to myself.



So, all that said, let me get back to the basics of this blog - weight loss. In January 2007 I joined Weight Watchers for the second time and lost 35 pounds. Went to Las Vegas. Got pregnant - not in Las Vegas, but shortly after getting back home. Was diagnosed with gestational diabetes and had to prick my finger 4 times a day and take 3 insulin shots daily. I had a beautiful, healthy, red headed baby girl on May 7th. I tried joining Weight Watchers shortly after she was born but I had not completely reached the point of commitment in my mind and I have eaten my way to gaining back almost every pound that had I worked so hard to lose. It's a hard lesson learned, but going to the meetings and paying the money week after week doesn't make you lose weight (who'da thunk?). I have learned that I have to be committed day by day, hour by hour, minute by minute. That's what I hope to do here, keep myself committed and accountable. I joined Watch Watchers again 2 weeks ago for the third time, and everybody knows that "the third time is the charm" right? In the last 2 weeks I have lost a total of 4 pounds, not a very big number but big enough for me! Anyway, I have to do this once and for all, for me and my family.

Quotes often help me motivation and inspiration so I plan to include them here too. There is no better way to start it off than this:

At age 67, Thomas Edison lost all of his work in a fire that completely burned his factory to the ground. The next morning as he walked through the ashes he is quoted as saying, "There is great value in disaster. All of our mistakes are burned up. Thank God we can start anew!"